Iri got up as soon as she saw the sunlight come in through the window. She got some sleep, but not as much ash she’s wanted. She felt that a couple of hours of sleep was better than none. But she didn’t let it slow her down for the task ahead of her. She got into her armor and helmet, moving with a bit of a purpose. She made her way down stairs to find the the main area of the Need Want barely active. Making her way out to the busy street and made her way to the medical office to get Yewll, who had managed to get her hands on one of Yewll’s old outfits.
“Rosewater told me to wait until today for us to go back to the mines to get the cloning equipment because of someone she wants to go with us,” Iri recapped briefly. “Do you have any idea on who this person is?”
“Honestly, not really,” Yewll replied. “I’m just as interested to know as you are.”
They made their way to the Lawkeeper’s office, finding the one called Berlin there.
“Where’s Irisa?”
“She’s gone to meet the Overland,” the human replied. “She’ll be here soon. If you want, you can sit and wait.”
Iri had never felt so impatient before. It was the first time in a long while where she didn’t feel comfortable about waiting. Even on the trip to Defiance no more than days ago, she had shown so much patience, considering the condition that Chase was in before they arrived. Granted, he resolve fell apart when he had been strapped down to the bed at the NeedWant, and she blamed herself for what had happened to him. But she wanted to get to work with securing the remaining tech down in the mine. She had been so in thought that she forgot how long she was waiting and didn’t hear the sound of the door opening.
“Took you long enough,” Yewll piped up. “So, this is the person the Mayor wanted for us to wait on?”
Iri turned her attention to the door to find Irisa standing next to another Irathient that was slightly taller to than her. Her red hair appeared to be longer than her , her face seeming to be quite masculine for a female of her species. The thing that Iri noticed about the Irath was the scars that were above and below her left eye and the eyepatch that resided over her right.
“Iri Sewuel, let me introduce you to Rynn,” the Lawkeeper spoke. “She’s going to help you with getting the tech to the Bay.”
They made their way back to the mine, working their way down carefully, it being easier for Iri this time around than it was the first.
“This is definitely brining back some bad memories,” Yewll piped up.
“Do you really have to keep talking, Indogene?” Rynn replied, her accent really heavy enough for Iri to notice.
“Yeah, I’d like to see how calm you’d be if you found out your clones were murdered and eaten out of sport.”
“The two of you relax,” Iri told them. “The last thing we need is for someone to be angry and mess up the equipment.”
“She started it,” Yewll quipped.
It was when they rounded a corner where three of them found Irisa stopped, looking at what appeared to be a giant hole. Iri was confused, until Irisa turned back and looked at her.
“That tunnel wasn’t there yesterday,” she said.
“You’re right,” the clone confirmed. “It wasn’t there.”
Iri took a moment to process it, her taking a moment to confirm that both Yewll and Irisa were correct. She turned to Yewll and Rynn.
“How about you two go on ahead, we’ll catch up. If we’re not there in an hour, go back to the Lawkeeper office and get Berlin. Meh, you lead the way.”
“Okie dokie,” she replied. “Come on, sweetheart.”
Yewll proceeded to walk away, with Rynn muttering a few cures in her native tongue under her breath as she proceeded to follow. Iri pulled her Wolfhound, looking at Irisa for a moment as they approached the tunnel. Their flashlights lit up the darkness as they walked, the thick smell of freshly molten rock lingering in the air.
“It happened really recently,” Irisa told her.
Iri nodded in agreement. Something or someone had to have carved this path, and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. Thus far, she couldn’t tell what the point of a new tunnel in a mine would be for, holding the Wolfhound ready to handle herself should the situation call for it. Iri noticed what appeared to be work lights embedded into the walls, spacing out by five feet apart. They finally reached what appeared to be the end of the tunnel, and was confused by what they found.
It was a wall with what appeared to be a giant vault door, it shaped almost like an old gear, the faded numbers 101 in the middle of it. Iri holstered her weapon, approaching what appeared to be a small control panel next to it. She examined the panel for a moment, until she found what appeared to be a switch labeled “Lights.” She flipped it up and the lights came on, illuminating the whole tunnel, including the one hundred yards to the mouth of the tunnel.
Irisa switched off her flashlight, looking at the massive vault door in front of her, Iri switching to diagnostic mode to examine the technology behind the panel.
“By the way this tech looks, its almost as old as Chase, if not older,” she told Irisa.
She turned her attention to the vault door. Iri could see the mechanics behind it, as well as some of the wiring, but she couldn’t see any noticeable electronics past the wall.
“The wall’s too thick for me to see any noticeable electronics behind it.”
“Do you think we should open it?”
“Not sure, Irisa. History has often taught me that some doors shouldn’t be open.”
Irisa came up to examine the door closer, her hand feeling around it.
“There should be a way to open it,” the Irath spoke. “We can’t risk not knowing what’s behind it. There could be something really dangerous to the town, and its my duty to protect it.”
“Okay,” Iri responded. “If you’re sure.”
Iri looked down at the panel, finding two buttons. One was marked closed, the other marked open. Iri pressed it and the sound of locks sliding caught both of them off guard, following with the sounds of a rhythm clanking. Iri joined Irisa at her side, pulling the Wolfhound out once more. Without warning the huge door slid inwards until it cleared the opening and then rolled off to the left, lights come on in succession after the door opened and lighting the inside area.
“I’m not sure if this is a good idea or not,” Iri told the Irath. “No shame in changing your mind.”
—————————————————
Chase had remembered seeing a few old movies about ghosts. Typically, they were apperations that were translucent, often grotesque in appearance from some form of supernatural decay. Yet, for Chase, a ghost would have been better than the horror of the thought that his mother had just abandoned him and his father all those years ago, and Chase’s mourning of her death was all for nothing. Yet, that horror was becoming more and more apparent as he stood there, looking at her as she leaned against the railing for the balcony, her hands clasped together, almost as they would in prayer and pressed against her lips. She couldn’t make eye contact with him.
“I don’t understand,” Chase told her. “Dad said you were dead. We had a funeral for you.”
She still stood there, her eyes averted from him.
“Why?” Chase asked. “Why’d you do this to us?”
“I can’t tell you why,” she said. “Please, don’t ask me that again.”
“I can’t fucking believe this.”
“Language,” she finally locked eyes on his. “This is a house of God.”
She moved over to the table taking a seat at the chair that faced towards the stairs, Chase taking a few steps around the opposite chair to look at her. He tried to recall the funeral that was held those years ago, him recalling going to the church to look at pine box cobbled together. He couldn’t remember if the box was open or closed. He recalled his father, a man whom he hadn’t seen crying before that moment, his face twisted in sorrow and pain as the love of his life was gone. The final thing he recalled was the pallbearers, including his father, carrying the box out to the graveyard. He couldn’t recall seeing her in the box.
“I can’t believe this,” he shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re still alive. And I can’t believe Dad lied to me all these years. The two of you… You fuckers.”
“Language,” she repeated. “And don’t you dare talk about your father like that. He was a good man.”
“A good man?” Chase couldn’t believe the words he heard. “He fucking staged a funeral to make me thing you were dead and lied me! WHAT GOOD MAN DOES THAT TO HIS OWN SON?!”
The outburst made her jump in her seat, causing her to look own. She took several deep breathes, as if trying to find the right thing to say.
“And you… You abandoned me, to become a nun? If you had just sent me a letter to let me know you were alive, maybe I wouldn’t be as fucked up as I am!”
“You’re right,” she responded. “I abandoned you when you needed me the most. It was unfair to you. I’m sorry, Chase.”
He leaned in close, her keeping her eyes down in shame.
“Tell me to my face,” he told her. “Look me in the eye.”
She finally looked up into his eyes, him sure she saw his blue eyes through his shaggy hair and the burn scar on his face. He wanted her to see the person he had become, the man who the world tried to stomp out of existence, so she could see how her leaving him had her part in the making of the adult in front of her. He could see the shame in her eyes, tears silently forming and slowly rolling down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” she repeat, almost in a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
He could see the years of shame in her eyes, how hurt she appeared by his action. Chase felt ashamed to have done it to her, him taking the seat across from her. Never in a million years would he have ever done this to her, yet he did it to here there and then. He felt guilt boil up, his mind telling him she didn’t deserve an apology for what he did. But his heart would override it.
“I’m sorry, mom,” he told her. “You and Dad weren’t to blame alone. Half of the hell I’ve gone through was my fault too. And the two of you did as good as you could in this insane world.”
“What-What other damage?” she asked. “What else?”
He didn’t want to share all the damaged he had taken, as he didn’t want to break her heart for the things that had made him. The way he was. But he remembered how persistent she was. Whenever she had suspected he had lied to her, she would constantly push the question until he broke. He reached up, slowly unzipping the top of his Riveter outfit.
“I was caught in a cave-in in Tampa,” he began to explain. “I suffered brain damage, which left me without any memory of who I was. Thanks to my girlfriend, she used my EGO implant to restore my ability to remember. Recently, my knee was shot out and it’s healing. But that wasn’t the only thing I lost because of the cave in.”
He pulled his sleeve down to reveal his right mechanical arm to her, it surprising her. He pulled the sleeve back up and over his shoulder, zipping the top back into place. Chase felt so embarrassed from having to show it to her.
“What does you father think of it?” she asked.
“He doesn’t think anything of it. He’s dead.”
The revelation caused her some surprise. Chase silently kicked himself for it, forgetting that she may have not known about what happened to him and his father after her leaving. Yet, he just let the cat out of the bag without thinking about it.
“How?”
“Hellbug,” Chase told her. “He died trying to save someone. I tried to save him, but my gun jammed.”
“I know you did, son. It wasn’t your fault. You have just as much of your father in you. He carried a lot of guilt as much as you do.”
Chase never would have figured it. He couldn’t recall of the top of his head how many times his father showed some guilt, but his mother knew his father better than he did at this point.
“You don’t know all the things I’ve had to do,” he told her. “I’ve had to hurt and kill a lot of people. Some because I was trying to protect people. Some because they were trying to kill me. Sometimes I wonder if maybe the world has some sort of vendetta against me. It’s tried a lot of times to take me out.”
“You did what you had to. That’s what this world has come down to. But, unlike those who would just kill to be cruel, you’re not like that. As you’ve said, some of the times you’ve had to do it because you defending other people. And you’ve felt guilt, which those who are cruel for the sake of it wouldn’t feel. Your father and I gave you a good moral compass. I’m sure it hasn’t steered you wrong.”
She got up from the table, heading over to a small counter where what looked like a tray with a tea pot and a cup.
“I was making some tea before you came in,” she told him as she picked up the tray and carried it over. “Would you like some?”
“No, I’m okay,” he replied.
“Probably for the best. I only have one cup up here,” she replied, which brought a bit of a chuckle out of him.
She poured herself some tea into a black cup, adding some clear liquid that Chase figured was sugar cane syrup. She always went with two spoons full, stirring the liquid well into the brown. She picked up the cup, taking a moment to smell the tea with the addition of the natural sweetener, it making Chase remember some of the times in his youth whenever she made herself a cup.
“So, you said you had a girlfriend,” she started. “Tell me about her.”
Chase noticed the small smile forming on her face. He recognized the look on her face. It was like the first time she had found out he had a girlfriend, a look of a little happiness, as if remembering what it was like to have been in love for the first time. Chase felt embarrassed now, much like how he felt embarrassed then.
“Her name is Iri Sewuel. She’s an Indogene.”
“Indogene That’s rather progressive.”
“Not really. I mean, it may be progressive to you. But then again, it may be, as I’m probably the only other person I know whose involved with an Indogene. But things have sort of been strained lately.”
“How so?”
“I found out that for about two months, when she was trying to solve the problem with my memory, she was talking about what we did in the bedroom to another person. It was another Indogene she knew, who is involved with another human I know. I know she’s an Indogene and her kind is more open about sex, but it does feel like she crossed a line. And I’m not sure how I should feel about it.”
His mother took another sip from the cup, closing her eyes and tapping her chin with it. It appeared that she was taking a moment to process what he’s told her. Chase couldn’t believe that he was asking advice on relationships from her, only a few minutes after accidentally discovering that she was alive, minutes after being angry at her for both her and his father’s betrayal. It was much like years ago, back when he could ask her advice on anything. Had things fallen back into the old way once more? Had things between his mother and him fallen back into the place that it had been long ago?
“Is she a good person?” she asked, finally breaking the silence, opening her eyes to look at him.
“Yes, she is.”
“And are you happy with her?”
“Sometimes. Sometimes, things go great between us. Then she does or says something that just makes me feel like I’m way behind her on some sort of scale.”
“Is she happy with you?”
“I think so. Except for one thing, but that’s mainly private stuff.”
“You’re still the gentleman I raised you to be. I know this ‘private stuff’ is the ‘sex stuff’. Is it something you’re doing? Or not doing?”
“I don’t know if its a good idea to talk to you about this. I mean, you’re my mother, and apparently, a nun too. This is a bit weird.”
“I may be a nun, but I’ll always be your mother, first and foremost. And most importantly, I’m an adult just like you are. Is it something you’re doing or not doing?”
Chase was feeling awkward, as if he were a teenager all over again. He hadn’t felt like that in a long time, as the world had long since curb stomped him to the point where he had forgotten old feelings like that.
“Yes, it’s ‘sex stuff’. Not doing. Like getting into a threeway. I just feel that I should be enough for her, and I feel like I’m not when she suggests stuff like that. But whenever we, uh… She’s happy with how I do things, which is the way she taught me. And it makes me feel conflicted.”
“I assure you, it’s nothing to do with you,” she told him, taking another sip from her cup. “When it comes to Indogenes, for them, it’s often typical for them to have multiple partners at once. In fact, I heard that in comparison to other Votan races, they’re more likely and willing to get ‘freaky’ than any other race. Believe me, the whole ‘free love’ movement of the 1960s is a pale comparison, from what I’ve been told.”
“But I don’t know what to do. She talks about what we do in private to Eren, she asks me to get involved in a threeway… I feel like I’m useless as a person because I can’t give her what she’s wanting and she’s asking others if its normal that human beings are so stingy. Granted, at the time when she was asking, I was trying not to be in her way while she was trying to solve my memory problem, holding back in the bedroom so she wouldn’t be tired the next day. Yet, now, I don’t know how I should feel about it. I don’t know if I should be pissed off or forgiving, or what. We’ve already gone through hell because of each other. I feel like we’ve driven each other insane more than once. And I fear that maybe our relationship is over, because I don’t know what to do.”
She put the cup down on the table. She leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table and her hands up to her face once more. He could see the warmth in her eyes like she had so many times whenever Chase had encountered some sort of obstacle that he couldn’t solve. And it had been years since he last encounter that warmth.
“Relationships are full of compromises, often some that challenge you,” she told him. “You have to remember, there were times when your father and I would get into arguments. Sometimes, as a result, one of us would relent. It’s compromise that often helps in a relationship. Think of this: do you realize she’s comprised a lot for you? A lot of Indogenes have issues with humans, and in some cases, it’s earned. Don’t you think some Indogenes may see her love for you as a betrayal of her own kind? She may have pretty much alienated her own kind to be with you, even willing to abandon most of her species sexual norms for you. What have you given her in return?”
Chase tried to run through his head the whole relationship with Iri, trying to find what he’s given her recently. The only thing that came to mind was the nothing more than grief, pain and suffering for the trouble she’s gone through, even more so recently.
“Nothing good,” he told her.
“So, find something to compromise on. Forgive her for her mistakes and give her something back. Love is a double-edged sword, you can’t have the good without the bad. And the only way to have the good is not to love her, but to give her something she knows can be hers. Sometimes is giving up on a fight.”
“Please don’t say sometimes its allowing her to have a threeway,” Chase told her.
“Sometimes it could be that. It depends on the person and the circumstance. Just don’t continue to take and not give something back. If you love her, you need to compromise. Return to her something she can have with you.”
Chase knew she was right. Not about the threeway thing, but the fact that he needed to give something back. He had been so selfish to the point where he had completely forgotten about her needs and wants. He had driven a wedge in their relationship because everything had been going his way instead of back and forth. He knew things needed to be better between them instead of acting like he has to get his way.
“I’m an idiot,” he said aloud.
“No you’re not. You’re just a kind person with a big heart. I’m so proud of the person you are. And I still love you, my dear son. Sometimes love has the tendency to blind you from the things you need to know.”
For some odd reason, this brought a chuckle to him. He couldn’t believe how useful her advice was, even after not having to had seen her in over a decade. So many feelings had come and went, yet sitting in front of her brought back some of the feelings he had long since lost and buried. He got up from the table, walking over to the balcony to look down at the massive hall of rows. He couldn’t believe his mother would have just given up life in Freedom to become a nun. The church for some reason felt so comfortable, like it reminded him of home. He turned around to face her at the table.
“Will you ever tell me why you left?” he asked.
“I’m afraid I can’t, Chase.”
“Will you at least consider-“ he cleared this throat at this point. “Will you at least consider… maybe, coming back to the North with when we’re done down here? I mean, we’re looking for a couple of people. That’s what I came in here for, to ask if you’d had seen them. They go by the names of Sandy Bell and Volodja Uljanov, both humans.”
“I wish I could help, Chase, but I don’t believe I’ve seen them. I wish I could help.”
“Okay. But what about my first question? Will you come back with me? I can introduce you to Iri. I’m sure she’d like to meet you. I think you’d both get along well. I’ll show you around the Bay. It may be dangerous, but its quite beautiful too. I could introduce you to my friends. I’m sure you’ve probably heard of the Paradise Protectors. We can swing by Defiance, introduce you to Amanda Rosewater. We could got back to Freedom, you can get the chance to see old friends and let them know you’re still alive.”
“As much as I’d like to Chase,” she began to say.
“Chase?” a male’s voice echoed through the hall. “What are you doing in here?”
He turned back around to face towards the hall once more, finding Vo Kshaa looking up at him from down below. But something was wrong. The warm glow and the homey feel no longer existed. Chase noticed a huge hole in the far wall that would have been to his left when he came in. This was odd Chase because it was big enough to be noticeable, yet he didn’t see it. Another thing he noticed now that he didn’t notice on the way in was that the pews, which he could have been sworn had been in straight rows, were now scattered, broken and eschewed about. The place looked wrecked, walls gratified and dust settled. Chase turned back around to face his mom, only to find an empty chair knocked over, the light from candles and the pyre cold and long since burnt out. Chase looked down on the floor, at the layer of dust that rested on it. He could see the footprints leading over to the chair and over to where he was. His was the only one there was, and by how it looked, had been for so long.
Confusion set in on him. He couldn’t understand what was going on. He had been talking to his mother, and yet, there was no sign of her. He ran through his memories once more, thinking about to the funeral. It was this time, when cycling through the memory, the gap was filled. He recalled looking down into the open box, finding her laying there. She would have appeared to have been sleeping if it hadn’t been for the paleness of her skin. What laid in the makeshift coffin was no more than an empty shell of the woman who had brought him into the world. The woman who had taught him so much about love and kindness. The woman whose half of his heart still beat within his chest. And now, she was gone again, yet worse, had never come again. He took a deep breath and blew it out, trying hard not to fall apart.
“Nothing,” he finally replied. “Nothing at all.”
He made his way over and down the stairs, passing by Vo to head outside. With each step he took, on the inside of his own skull he screamed in sorrow but kept it quiet on the outside. Chase slid into the passenger seat, pulling the door close, looking out at the street.
What the hell just happened to me? he asked himself, the thought being broken by the sound of the driver side door opening and Vo sliding into the driver seat.
“Are you okay?” he asked him.
Chase put on a small smile, trying to keep the façade of normalcy. It’s not like he could have admitted to the Irath that he had just seen a ghost and asked for relationship advice from her. Chase knew how insane it would have sounded, and he didn’t want to detract from their mission to find their lost comrades.
“I’m okay,” he told him. “Any updates? Are there any signs of Sandy and Volodja here?”
